Congratulations! You’re getting married and preparations are nearly complete. You go down your checklist to see if everything is progressing according to plan. Let’s see:

• Cake ordered? Check!
• Bridesmaid dresses chosen? Check!
• Flowers decided on? Check!  
• Honeymoon details done? Check! 
• Financial plans for two in place? WHAT? 

Financial planning can often take a back seat to the wedding cake. People spend months, even years, planning wedding details, but they barely think about their finances beyond the ceremony. They put off dealing with money because it makes them feel uncomfortable.

Since money is one of the top causes of friction in a marriage, it’s important to have a financial plan in place before you walk down the aisle.

Here is my advice to help you get your marriage off to a solid start: 

Begin the conversation about money today. Nothing is worse than finding out later about financial skeletons hiding in the closet. Put everything on the table with respect to any existing financial obligation. It is not unusual for couples to come into the marriage with polarizing attitudes about money. Have a discussion about money messages received during childhood to assess each other’s money attitudes. This often creates understanding and appreciation for one person’s need for financial security and the other’s need for risk taking. Both attitudes can be helpful in creating a well-balanced financial plan. 

Next, decide how money decisions will be made and how roles will be divided. Play off of each other’s strengths. For instance, if your spouse is analytical and loves spreadsheets and it’s not your thing, give up budgeting to him or her. Then you, as the “big picture” person, can provide much-needed accountability to make sure that you stay on track to meet your financial goals.

Talk about how disagreements will be handled and agree to disagree. Some people have a need for financial autonomy and wonder if it is acceptable in marriage, where funds are typically combined. Marital partnership does not mean having to put all your money into one pot. One idea is to have a joint account into which you each contribute in proportion to your income, while you each keep a separate account. You could agree that all expenses exceeding “x” amount of dollars need to be decided on jointly, while you don’t need to confess to a purchase of a $7 lipstick or $13 golf balls.

So, before you take that first step down the aisle, set financial goals and have a financial plan in place. Because not having one is like sailing without a compass. 

Mystified by money? Ask Denisa and improve your financial literacy. Denisa Tova MBA, CFP®, CDFA is a Colorado Springs-based Certified Financial Planner and CEO of DaVinci Financial Planning. Submit financial questions to her at denisa.tova@gazette.com.